The Lew Crew

The Lew Crew
You got a long way to go Fat Stuff! Get out there and run!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Big Horn Trail Run on Saturday

Well, here goes nothing! A little less than four months of training, and a fifty-mile race on Saturday. I am really hoping that we don't have a snow course. Some parts of the course have been impassable up to this week because of unusually heavy spring snows in the high mountains, and the first part of the race is at 9300'. My training fell off at the end because I had to get the house and my life in order to leave town for three weeks. I have been in the ocean frequently, and I have driven to the summit of Mauna Kea twice in the last week, and spent long periods of time at elevation with light exercise hoping it will help me metabolise oxygen at elevation during the run. The cold and snow will be major factors, and I will be sadly disappointed if they change to a snow course because I have spent so much time trying to wrap my head around the heavy downhill descents that run into a couple of nearly vertical climbs. I guess it is time to get out there and see what happens. I must send a huge Mahalo Nui Loa to the mountains of Hawaii Island for not eating me and keeping my corpse in some puka (hole in the lava) while I trained for this race!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Big Horn Trail Run 50 Miler, I'm getting scared!

This run is sneaking up on me like a homeless man on a half eaten sandwich. Before I know it I will be scooped out of the trash can, with his back to the street, I will be devoured. I am still pushing hard in my training, but the light at the end of the tunnel comes into focus, and when I think I have a firm grasp it slips through my fingers. This last week I ran 29.98 miles, 7 hours & 39 minutes, and 3,794 feet of elevation gain. Sounds awsome, but I fear it is no where near where I need to be on race day. This week I am going to push hard, and my goal with be to spend 12 hours pounding the trails in a week. I am going to be pooping down both legs on race day, if I know in my mind I can't eaisly handle 12 hours a week. I would feel even better if I could bump up to 14 or 15 hours a week in may. 50 miles, where do I get these crazy ideas. But, the plane tickets are purchased, the hotel is reserved, and my entry fee has been paid. Plus, I have never been one to back down once I started something. All the other goals of no meat, or running barefoot during the race seem insignificant, and above all else I must be prepared to run and finish the race. The following video is a 360 degree pan from the top of the Pu'u Huluhulu vent in Hawaii's Volcanoes National Park.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Lehua Blosoms

Chubby Cheetah's Kitchen, Recipe # 5, Carrot Ginger Soup

In our house we love soups, and this one is a new delicious one I created this morning.

Carrot Ginger Soup


4    cups water
3    cups carrots
1/2 cup onion
2    tsp ginger
1 to 2 tsp Ghee (or butter)
1/2 tsp sea salt
dash black pepper
dash red Cayenne pepper

First peel and freeze your piece ginger. This makes it easy to grate the ginger later. Bring the water to a boil with the carrots inside, and then lower to a simmer and put a lid on your pot. Once the carrots begin to soften take them off of the stove, place them and the water in a separate bowl, grate in your ginger, and let them cool to room temperature. Return your boiling pot to the stove on a medium heat, add your ghee or butter, add onion, salt, and black and Cayenne pepper. Saute onion until clear. Add the onion to the carrot ginger mix, do not wash the ghee residue out of boiling pot, and put the pot on the side. Add the onion to the carrot mix. Once the carrot mix is room temperature, place in a blender, and puree until smooth. Return to the ghee coated pot, and cook for a half hour at a simmer before serving. It is a spunky healthy soup. Enjoy!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Goverment Shut or Furlough Days

Instead of a government shut down, they should consider it furlough days. That way they could claim that they are saving us money instead of screwing us one more time. Tea party blames the Republicans and the Liberals, the Liberals blame all the conservatives, The Old Guard Conservatives blame the Liberals and wish they could also blame the Tea Party. These people all act more like spoiled rich kid than they do politicians. Everybody wants a showdown, everybody wants to play the blame game, next year we must start campaigning for the Presidential Race again. I think they all need a old fashion ass kicking, and then we we put them in time out. Can't they ever agree that both parties lead up to all these problems, and they have a responsibility to not act so ridiculous. And to the Tea Party, you don't even know who you are, you have all the consistency of rotten yogurt. You run all the way from smart fiscal conservative to crazy ass racist who have attach themselves to your party. How did you let that shit happen? Your young congress members are the one trying to slide in ideological laws into a budget bill, now you've assisted in shutting down the government. But my real question is, with a government shut, will anyone really notice??? LOL!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Chubby Cheetah's Kitchen, Recipe # 4, Ahi in Rich White Orange Sauce

I know this one sounds too rich, but it is not near as rich as it sounds. The flavor of the fish is the predominate thing you taste.


1 block Ahi Tuna
12 oz. ricotta cheese
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 ripe orange
1 pinch sea salt
1 dab coconut oil to grease bread pan

I use a bread pan because it is small enough to keep the Ahi and sauce in tight quarters. I grease the entire pan down with coconut oil, you could use olive oil also.

Pre heat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix the ricotta cheese, mayo, most of the Parmesan, and salt together.  Cut the orange in half, and squeeze half of the orange into the mixture. Then with a fine cheese-grater,  grater some of the rind into the ricotta mixture, and stir again.

Cut Ahi into 1/2 inch steaks.  Dip each steak into the ricotta mixture until it has a thick coating. Stack the steaks next to each other in a row. Pour any remaining sauce over top. Sprinkle the rest of the Parmesan over top, and grate a little more orange rind over the top.

Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Then turn the oven down to 300 degrees for 10 more minutes. This dish is awesome. Enjoy!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Vegitarian, Carnivore (part time), Vegitarian

It's good to be King! It is good to make the rules and laws, and break them when you wish. Over two months I have slowly lost 10 pounds. Sounds great, if your not the one pushing these thunder thighs up and  down trails. The cravings I have had for meat didn't break me; it has been my inability to lose enough fat. I am going to allow myself to get protein through a meat source three to five times a week. But, only for a temporary period of three weeks, from March 28th to April 18th. These past months I have been jamming down vegetarian food hand full after hand full trying to get enough protein. I have been getting enough protein, but I have had to consume so many calories to do it that I haven't lost enough of my fat rash. And, that damn fat rash covers my entire body. In my mind every pound I can shed is one less pound to carry. If I carry one less pound for a  mile, that is fifty less pounds over fifty miles. It is going to be much easier to lower my calorie count using a little meat protein, and then I will switch to a good protein shake on the 18th of April. I will also let my calorie count go as high as it needs to at that point. I will cease caring about weight, and only worry about consuming enough to carry me through the miles. For now, I brake the rules, make new rules, until I decide to make or break new rules.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Big Island International Marathon Through Today

All over all the paper work was "No Bandits". I would have loved to have been a legitimate participant, but they only have 300 slots for the Marathon which is ridiculous, and of course it was sold out a long time ago. They don't let any sign up on the pre-race day to fill the slots of dropouts, and we had a ton this year because of the disaster in Japan. A lot of the runners were coming from Japan, and only about half of them made it. It is super impressive that even that many came in the wake of a disaster a week earlier. Anyway, I signed up for the 5K. 4:30 A.M. March 20th, with a shirt covering my running number, I slithered onto the bus for the marathon and half marathon, and waited to get kicked off. A man came onto the bus and announced this bus was for half and full marathoners only, and then he left. Silently I rode up to the starting line. Got off the bus, and started to check out every ones numbers. All the numbers were either 1 to 300, or 700 to 1000. My number was 599. In the seas of people I only saw one other poacher with a 500 number. My head was stirring, and I was wondering how I was going to avoid getting caught. You don't want to get caught poaching a road runner event if there are other road runner events in which you want participate.  When they called for us to the start line I crowded into the center of the pack, and stayed as far away from the video guy as I could. The gun went off, I had done, I was able to start the race. The first half of this course is awesome before the freaky loop around second half of the course.

   It was so peaceful as the sun slowly rose over the ocean, trotting up and down the winding course. One of my biggest goals for the race was not to get swept up in the momentum of every ones pace as they wushed passed me. I held my pace, and let everyone pass. It sounds easy, but it is not. People have been preparing for this day for months, some a year or more. You feel great because it's the beginning of the race, and there is the energy of hundreds of excited people who all feel like Olympians gliding across the pavement during the first few miles. Those first few miles can destroy you for the last 6.2 miles if you over do it. Like a tree with the wind rushing past me, I stood my ground and kept my pace.

  The first 10-1/2 miles went smooth. I passed many of the people who flew by me at the start. Then when I reached downtown Hilo I could see all the race booths event people. I quickly decided to jump a fence, and head up into down town. I called Jaime, and told her to meet me in Kea'au in a couple of hours. I slowly plodded forward until I reached the dump in Kea'au. The girls had been waiting for me, and I had passed my pick up point. The girls came to get me, and we went home and mapped my run. The run only turned out to be 20-1/2 miles, but I was super stoked I kept my pace at the start and I didn't get caught.

  I ran a 16 miler during the next week, and another 6 miles. I ran 42 miles in a week, which was awesome. This week I was only able squeeze in 22 total miles, and that must be the only time my weekly total drops below 40 miles until the week before the Big Horn Trail Run 50 miler. I am going to call my sports guru Pat Lupton this week. He lives in Montana an is an incredible fitness trainer, and he is also a competitive Ultra-Marathon Athlete. I can't wait to get some professional advice.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Marathon Tomorrow with 57 days of training

 Me in my Vibrams.
 I busted all the skin off of my big toe; you can see where I bled through my shoes.
Blood, sweat, and tears. Last Sunday I ran three loops around the Kilauea Iki trail, but I had intended to run five loops. 12 miles of pain. The Sun was blazing in a cloudless sky, and I was back in the protective canopy of the forest. Less than a mile left of my first four mile loop, and I couldn't help steal glances at the sheer beauty of watching Pele's Home, Halema'uma'u, steaming just past the crater I was running through. I was thinking how I hadn't brought anything to offer/thank Pele for cruising her turf so often recently. As I peered at the emissions billowing up, I kick a tree root so hard before I could react I was doing the Superman. I flew head first into a ditch, and I had to do the old tuck and roll. I skinned my hands, scraped my hip, blew all the skin off my big toe, and jammed two of my other toes. I rolled around in the dirt for a few seconds, and was thankful no one saw. I jumped up, and began hobbling down the trail trying to force my body to run through the pain.

I forced my self to keep running. I couldn't shake the fatigue from the sixteen mile run the weekend before, and I was starting to feel dehydrated by the middle of my second loop. I was consuming plenty of water, but I had drank too much coffee in the morning, and I was paying for it.

Crossing the bottom of the Kilauea Iki crater on my third loop I jammed my busted up big toe into a out cropping of lava rock. I spun circles, and I almost F*%*ing cried. I hobble forward trying to push through the pain, and I am able to work through it by the time I reach the steep ascent to the Thurston Lava Tube parking lot.  I usually can run almost the whole hill, but I was so fatigued I couldn't make it happen, and had to walk most of it. I ended up calling it quits at the end of that loop. I figured if I pushed through then I would be in the same predicament of fatigue during the race tomorrow.

I am going to pick up my number and packet today. I will catch y'all on Monday.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Rainforest Rain 16 Mile Run

 Feeling strong and confident, I strapped on my gear, wiggled my toes into my Vibram's, and jumped out into the rain unafraid of its wetness! I started down the trail. Splashing through the puddles like a warrior off to Battle. The heavy raindrops splashing beside my feet swishing through the puddles. A mile and a half into the run I encountered a pack of twelve Japanese Tourist, all geared up in some bad ass mystery brand rain gear, smiling and politely stepping aside so I may pass. They must be warriors too! Japanese tourist are rock stars. In the bottom of the crater I passed another man with crazy wet eyes who looked like he may be some spirit of the forest in human form. I didn't see another person until the parking lot at Thurston Lava Tube.

The cold rain made it much easier to run hard. My soaked skin, cold and clammy, was sucking in the rain, and I hardly had to drink off my hydro-pack. My body temperature stayed low resulting in few walk breaks, and almost continuous running the first three loops. I did stop every four miles and take in some food. I am really focusing on being able to fuel up during the runs.

 The rain did cause more gravel to go into my shoes while running through the bottom of the crater. In through the hole on my right foot where I drug a toe the week before, it came in from the tongue area of my left shoe, and I have a nice wound on each foot. The black color of the lava created the most amazing color of puddle water. It was some blue magic water from the Lord of The Rings, and I was splashing my way into becoming a sorcerer. 

The mist starting lift, and the rain was thinning by my third loop. The rain pulled up and stayed in the clouds by my fourth loop. I was fatigued, but held up well during the fourth lap. I needed a little extra water, I walked a good chunk of the second half of the last ascent. I felt that was minor for the first time running 16 miles. 

My soreness this week has been minimal. I am going to run either 16 or 20 miles this weekend. I will have to listen very close to my body this weekend. I don't want to end up injured for the Big Island Marathon, which is the weekend of the 20th.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Chubby Cheetah's Kitchen, # 3, Triple Berry Pie

 I started craving something sweet, and there was nothing in the house. I had lost the Jeep keys a couple of days previous, Jaime was off to work, and Betty and I were at home. I searched through the cupboards until I ended up in the freezer staring at a pie shell from turkey day, and then I looked down and saw our triple berry mix for smoothies. Perfect. I am just starting to do some baking, but my gamble paid off. It was berry good.

The Berries in our berry mix were Raspberry, Blue Berry, and Black Berry.

ingredients -

Mixed Berries to liking.
1/2 Cup Maui Pure Cain Sugar
1/2 Cup Organic Brown Sugar
2 Tablespoons Molasses
2 Tablespoons Agave Sweetener
2 Eggs
1 Nine Inch Pie Shell

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. You will have to adjust cooking times depending if you are using fresh or frozen berries, these are for frozen. Mixed berries, brown and Cain sugar, molasses, and agave. Beat the 2 eggs well in a bowl, and then mix well into berry mixture. Pop in the oven, and cook at 350 deg. for one hour. Turn down to 300 deg. for a half hour, and finish cooking by a half hour at 250 degrees. Let the pie cool on a cooling rack until room temperature, and then chill at least one hour in the refrigerator before serving. This tangy tart treat will light up the senses. Enjoy.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

My body is really starting to change

I haven't posted about running for a couple of weeks because it has been going good. Good seemed boring. I have done two 12 mile trail runs, and was only mildly stiff the next day. I was shooting for 16 miles both times. The run is a 4 mile loop, and when I had finished 12 mile both times I could have run all 16 miles, but I would have been risking injury. During the 9 to 12 mile loop, I started dragging and stubbing toes. I decided it would be better to avoid injury, and pull back to 12 miles. I am going to push through to 16 miles this weekend for sure.

Good food and exercise seem to be agreeing with me. My posture is getting better. I have less back pain. My guts seem to be getting back on track, and they have been screwed up for years. My fat is shrinking, but I still am not fat poor. Baby got back! My upper body and core are strengthening and toning. I am realizing i am going to be spending a year on the doorstep of fatigue, and maybe longer. I am going to have to push like a madman, yet be able to be reasonable enough to stop or get rest when I need it. I will be walking a fine line.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Chubby Cheeta's Kitchen Recipes, # 2, Chia Sports Drink

I drank the Chia Sports Drink during my 12 mile trail run and I am barely sore. I drank only water on my 8 mile run six days earlier and I could hardly walk almost until the 12 mile run. I found the idea of a Chia drink while reading about the Tarahumara.


Chia-  3 or 4 tablespoons
Maca- 3 or four tablespoons
Hemp Protein Powder- 1 large scoop
Hawaiian Sea Salt- 2 fat pinches
Agave Syrup- 3 tablespoons
Water- 6 to 8 cups

First bring your 6 to 8 cups of water and the 2 fat pinches of sea salt to a boil, vary the amount water to change the thickness or flavor. Remove the water mix from the heat, stir all ingredients, set pot on a cooling rack until the mixture is room temperature.  Pour room temperature mix into a blender, and either pulse or put on slowest setting, and lightly blend.

 You will have the urge to blend it in the blender say 1/2 way cooled, or 3/4 cooled. Well, if your mix is anywhere near the top of the blender, then steam will build in the blender very rapidly, and spit hot shit all over you, burning you, and make a mess in the kitchen. And, if you a really smart kid, like me, then you'll try in twenty minutes when it's still not cool enough, and reburn and mess your shit up again.

Pour into jars or  a pitcher. I save some jars so can split it up for different workouts.

It is earhty yet sweet spice drink. It the only thing I did different between the two runs. I drank four ounces after four miles, 8 ounces after mile 8, finishing the last 4 ounces after mile 12, and wishing I had more, because I famished at that point. A.D.D. Idea. A squeeze of lime might be nice. I think I am going to try some lime. I hope you enjoy. 

The Sore Leg Bathroom Waddle

After the Kilauea Iki 8 mile run, on VD day Feb. 14th 2011, it seemed as if I was OK. I hurt, but for the first time at this distance, my feet seemed worse than my legs. I had more than one sore toe. Not from the  shoes as much as it was the sheer number of steps on uneven terrain.

 Upon finishing my first loop, I stopped to call the girls, and I saw that it was noon, the first loop took over 1-1/2 hours, and I had to meet My wife at 1:00 so she can pass the baby off to me, switch the Prius for the Jeep, and get down the hill to Hilo and get to work at 2:15 PM.

I knew if I was going to make 8 miles I was going to have to haul ass on fatigued legs. I scrambled back out onto the trail. I reversed directions, and descended by Thurston Lava Tube. I flew like a lion through the first steep descent, but I started to fatigue going through the bottom of the crater. The initial ascent is a super steep trail slash rock stairs. As I ran peering up at the ascent, I jammed the ball of my right foot on a lava rock, straining the  muscle, and almost rolling my ankle. I started to try to run the ascent, and immediately fell back into a walk. I walked quickly until I got into the shade. I stopped removed my hydro pack and Micheal Jordan sweat band to allow my body temperature drop. Once my body temp lowered; I consume a couple of small mouth fulls of water not wanting to over do it. I continued. Getting up those steps is like doing lunges, my quads were shaking like jello, but I pushed through, made it to the top, and then was able to start a slow sliding jog. I knew I was running out of time, and had to get to the parking lot. The rest of the is ascent is very gradual, and I was able to run/walk it at a pace faster than my body wanted. I made it to the parking lot just before to girls arrived. I finished the trail 8 miles in 2-1/2 hours. My feet were really stinging, my legs were numb and had an occasional shooting pain, but I thought they just might be OK.

Wrong! I woke up needing to take a leak, and my legs were stiff as boards, and when I put my feet to the floor someone shoved a hot nail in my calves. Whimpering I teetered side to side like I had two wooden legs, and electric shocks ran up to my ass. My legs were like this for the next three nights. I skipped my short runs, and my paddle boarding.

Thursday morning I drizzled out of bed at 6 AM, and hobbled down the hall to draw a hot epsom salt bath. I soaked, and then got up to make coffee and make a breakfast burrito. Then I rubbed my legs down hard with the red Tiger Balm. Please, heal me firery balm! The girls got up, and the Girls and I went to Hilo Bay. There were small waves. I was still in tons of calf pain. I paddle over in the waves. I couldn't take off on a damn wave. I would get all wobbly the moment before dropping in, I would try to contain the fire in my legs, and splash I would kook out and Huli (fall) off my board. My friend Big L. and I swapped boards in the water. His board is a little wider and more stable. And, He is actually a good surfer and can ride my board. I still couldn't catch waves, until I started kneeling and paddling for the waves. I never could get enough blood into the muscles to wash, even if temporary, away the soreness. We swapped boards back. Big L. caught the next wave in to shore. I tried a couple of times, and resigned to paddle across the bay, and over to where the girls were playing on the beach.

Friday, I did stations, I jumped rope, did push ups, sit-ups, pull ups, and ran in place. My calves were still super sore, and I wanted to try for 16 miles the next day. I talked to my wife, who is sometimes very wise, Hey, I said, "Sometimes", suggested I push the run to Sunday. I agreed, in fact I was a little scared of even doing Sunday's run...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Chubby Cheeta's Kitchen Recipes, # 1, Quinoa and Pumpkin Lunch

I made two separate dishes. A savory & sweet quinoa, and a baked pumpkin.

Sweet & Savory Quinoa


3 small or 2 medium size tomatoes
1/4 cup bell pepper
1 whole mango
dash celery salt
pinch sea salt
3/4 cup quinoa
1-3/4 cup water

Bring water, sea salt, and celery salt to a boil. Slowly stir in quinoa, cover with a lid and put on low heat for 12 minutes. While quinoa is simmering, chop tomato into chunks, bell pepper into fine slices, and the mango into chunks. When the 12 minute simmer is up stir in vegetables and mango, cover, and turn heat off. It will be slightly warm when pumpkin is done.

Baked pumpkin-


1 pumpkin cut in half, you may use smaller pieces if it is a larger type of pumpkin
Black pepper
Olive Oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut pumpkin in half, and put deep cuts in the pumpkin almost all the way to the skin. Rub the pumpkin with olive oil, and then sprinkle evenly with black pepper, and lightly with the sage. bake on a cookie sheet for 1 hour.

Enjoy this meal full of fiber, protein, minerals, vitamins, and good carbs.

Chubby Cheetah Kitchen Invitation

As part of this whole twisted experiment I am going to compose a Vegetarian cookbook. I am pretty handy around the kitchen, and to keep my self from splitting at the seams from meat withdrawals I have got inventive in the kitchen. Plus the level of nutrition and calories ha have to be present to pull off long distance runs. I also found with a lot recipes with health food are only trying to sell you there cookbook, and a lot of them are like 15 chia recipes. I am not going to pay 15.00 for a ten or fifteen recipe cook book. Kiss my white flabby ass! Anyways, any post that says Chubby Cheetah's Kitchen from now on will be a recipe for vegetarian food.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Baby's Fever

I missed my short run yesterday, and my paddle boarding session today. My Baby had a high fever 102.3, and maybe higher. Nothing is scarier than having a sick child, and yet nothing cause deep bonding like staying just out of the dream realm and cuddling your baby all night.  My wife and I barely got any sleep, because our baby would wake up up in a screaming cry at least every twenty-five minutes, and she would either need to be nursed back to sleep by my wife or I would rock her and sang. It funny how alot of times what ever is causing you to lose sleep pisses you off, but not when it's your baby you are more than happy to lose that same sleep.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Volcano National Park

View from Kilauea Iki, and Halema'mau'u is steaming in the back ground. I ran a super hard eight miles yesterday. I did the Kilauea Iki Loop twice. After the first loop, I paused in the parking lot, and this huge plume of ash and smoke came billowing out of Halema'mau'u, which is the home of Pele. I got great footage of it, and peoples  reaction on my other video camera. There is a lava lake in that crater, and when I first moved here I remember someone telling me it was a mile or two down. Now, I read in the paper last Thursday that the lake of lave is 240 feet down, and there were over a dozen earthquakes last week, the biggest being 3.8.  So when these plumes came, which happened twice I was wondering if I should run down into the bottom of the crater again. But, what the hell! If Tutu Pele wants to take you, she can do it at will. So, I finished one more loop. I had to stop my run four miles short; I wanted to do at least one more loop, but my feet were killing me. Also, when I jumped over a crevice I came down super hard on a sharp piece of lava rock in the arch of my right foot. My foot still hurts pretty bad today. Well worth all the pain to see Big Mama's show of force.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Grocery Freak Out!

My baby girl and I were both going through the cabinets. She was tossing things on the floor, and I was searching for something to fill the tobacco void. I couldn't find anything to satisfy my needs, and we decided to run to the health food store before Mama got home from work. You know, just to grab a few things for a vegetarian curry. So, we go to the store, next thing you know we are wandering the store sharing an open unpaid for bag of cheese poofs, and finding all sorts of wonderful delicious things. $ 85.00  later I still didn't have everything I needed for the curry, and I only had one bag of groceries. Damn heath food stores. Hmm, I will go to the Kea'au farmers market, a great place to get cheap fresh vegetables. Shit! I gave my last eleven dollars to my wife, and they only accept cash at the farmers market. I can just run by KTA, it is more expensive, but they have very nice produce. I'll just grab a couple of veggies, maybe a cheese pizza for tomorrow. Right! As my cravings grew deeper and deeper my cart got fuller and fuller. To add to the drama we are having a bit of a tight month. I spent $ 160.00 at KTA. I now have spent $ 240.00 on groceries. When I got home my wife almost flipped out, but she is so cool that she swallowed her anger, and we had a long talk. I had one other freak out, but I am saving that one for my video chronicle. I am heading up to Volcano National Park for a long run today, and will report back soon.

Fat Rash

I haven't reported since my last big run. . My big run last weekend went OK. It took me about 2-1/2 hours to run 9 miles. I went from my house almost to Hilo. I had to call my wife at the 7 mile mark and tell her to start heading my way cause my fat-ass thighs had rubbed against each other and my boxers quite a few too many time, and I was rashing out hard. My last two miles looked like I was running from Ron Jeremy, as I waddle forward in fat rash pain. My sweet wife and baby brought me fresh clothes, and stuff to shower down at the beach. I cleaned up at the shower in Hilo Bay, and went to a Super Bowl party. I made the second half of the game. Well, kind of, I don't really watch sports, but I got drunk. I took a couple of short runs this week, a great paddle boarding session, and a great body boarding session. I had a couple of good freak outs I will expound upon in my next blog.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Stand Up Paddle Boarding

Last night after Mama got home from work, I finished gardening, and the dogs and I went for a super quick run by the ocean. I got up then this morning at 5:30 am, drank enough java to hold one eye open, kissed both of my sleeping girls, and head for Hilo's Bay front. The computer showed that there were supposed to be some good waves. Nothing, nada, zilch. I paddled two huge laps around the bay. Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa were both dress in a sheer white mist, laying silent like powerful beautiful women. When I would turn to padlle to the south The sun was streaking almost all the way to the front of my paddle board. What a way to wake up!

Kilauea Iki trail

This is the post a'a part of the run. A'a is the super sharp lava, and Lapahoehoe is the smooth lava. I would include the a'a portion of the video, but it is too hilarious too give away for free, and I am saving it for the final documentary. Thank Pele for smooth lava!!!

Cleansing My Body & House

 Cleansing my body is no longer enough. I am digging out projects rotting under the house, inside the garage, out of the closets. I was sitting wondering how the F$%^ I was going to finish all these crazy projects I had accumulated, and I realized if I donate the  good stuff to the recycle center, and throw the rubbish away my list will become shorter and shorter.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Craving Chew & Hot Dog Water

The no meat thing has not been too bad until today. I was craving chewing tobacco so hard this morning I thought my skin was going to split. I had drank enough coffee to make an elephant run wind sprints, and was considering going to WalMart parking lot and start head-butting cars until I had knocked myself out. Instead I spent some energy fertilizing our Banana Trees. Part of my crazy angst is I missed my run yesterday; I went paddle boarding instead. Then while I was cutting up an organic all beef hot dog for my daughter I accidentally licked my fingers. Whoa! Mmm! Yea! Next thing I know I am hovering above the hot dog water slowly indulging in the steamy smell of hot dog vapor. I think I will go for a run right now to shake these cravings.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Signed up for the Big Island Marathon Kind of...

I actually signed up for the 5K on March 20th because the marathon is full. I need as much exposure to any race I can get. I really wanted to sign up for the marathon. This would be a perfect time to try to run a 26.2 mile marathon. I am hoping I can weasel my way into the full marathon during Saturday the 19th when we pick our race bibs up.

Super Bowl Sunday

50 miles, 50 miles, 50 miles, shit! I haven't been running at all, and I have less than five months to go from overweight, with a diet of red meat, Copenhagen long cut chewing Tabasco, beer and whiskey drinking, and transform myself into a vegetarian super athlete who runs ultra marathons either barefoot, or in a minimalist shoe like the Vibram Five Finger running shoe.

Yesterday, after many cups of coffee, lingering around the house and trying to convince myself to start running again after almost two weeks without acomplishing anything. I had an epiphany, I will shave my head,and create my own gimmick to trick myself into running. I have never shaved my whole head. I have had a couple of killa mohawks. It's time for a cinematic moment. I walk briskly into the bathroom, grab the clippers, into the bedroom to get the camera and the tripod, from the bedroom "babe, can I have your makeup mirror". My wife gives me her makeup mirror, and reminds she would prefer if I didn't shave my head. I am bald like a ballon baby. I thought it would make me look younger, WRONG! My fairly tanned face looking rather akward as it tries to merge with my ass white bald head.

Once I washed off all the superfluous hair clippings, pulled on my boxers, running shorts, Vibram shoes, hydro PAC, iPod shuffle, turned on a Willie Nelson tune, kissed the baby, and started jogging up the driveway. I was going to jog inside of H.P.P. Subdivision, I went from 24th up to 28th, took a right on 28th, made it a quarter of the way up the street, and I was stopped by a pair of dogs who were off leash, and coming at me. They had a steady bark, but did't seem viscious, although they kept advancing on me, and one of them was a burly blue pit bull. So i wasn't going to chance a fight with that big bastard. I started walking backwards, they kept coming, I shouted at them, they kept coming, finally I picked up a rather large rock and chucked it at them, and they seemed to understand. they stopped, looked at each other, and turn around and went home. I decided to go back to the main road, and run a little ways down highway 130. I took little baby steps, if I wanted to increase my speed I increased the number of steps not the length of my stride, I was feeling great. I passed Shower Drive, the dump, next thing I know, six miles into my run I am turning down highway 11, my knees are screaming, but I want to keep going, and I do. After another mile the fat on the upper inside of my thighs stinging from the mix of the sweat and the rash where my fat thighs had been rubbing my boxers together between my thighs until it felt like they were going to burst into flames. I stopped, called my wife on my cell phone. I told her to come get me, but I was going to keep jogging. I struggled to keep moving forward, my rash increasing with every step, trying to shift my boxers, trying to pull them out, trying to roll them up, but nothing worked. My wife got my at the Kulani turn off. I made it a little over nine miles. she drove me to the beach where I showered. Then to the store to buy a twelve pack of beer, and I made it to the party in time for the start of the second half. My knees finally stop screaminG after beer five or six. Then I started feeling great, began boozing, and playing, kubb and frisbee cricket.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Planning is all I've done...


        Why? I'm not sure!
Really? Yes, really!
        Why? "I said, I don't know"!

    Yes, I am fat and flabby, if I run my hand down my belly, there is a point I lose sight of it. I am weighing in around 204.
     Over Christmas vaction I read a book called, "Born to Run", by Christopher Mcdougle. I realized, from these amazing stories, that yes, I was born to run. I have been wanting to chronicle something for a while now, and this was it. "Ding, Dong the Wicked Witch is dead". If I was to exploit myself, I wouldn't have to run around getting release forms signed. Plus, I could shed these shackles of fatigue and compulsion by creating a new compulsion. How American of me! I decided when I came home from Christmas Vacation I would Stop eating meat. I happen to be a hardcore addicted Carnivore, LUV me some meat. BBQ BABY.  After 24 years of companionship, spending almost all day together, on the evening of February 8th, I dipped my finger into the moistness of my bottom lip, and scooped out a  throughly used last chew of tabacco. Oh, sweet friend I could carry anywhere I went. I am missing you. Plus I am training to run several ultra-marathons. First the Big Horn Trail Race 50 miler. Then on August 20th I watn to run the Leadville 50 miler. Do some other regular marathons, and finsh with the H.U.R.T. 100 on O'ahu, Hawaii in December.

More on my struggle tomorrow.