The Lew Crew

The Lew Crew
You got a long way to go Fat Stuff! Get out there and run!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Chubby Cheeta's Kitchen Recipes, # 2, Chia Sports Drink

I drank the Chia Sports Drink during my 12 mile trail run and I am barely sore. I drank only water on my 8 mile run six days earlier and I could hardly walk almost until the 12 mile run. I found the idea of a Chia drink while reading about the Tarahumara.


Chia-  3 or 4 tablespoons
Maca- 3 or four tablespoons
Hemp Protein Powder- 1 large scoop
Hawaiian Sea Salt- 2 fat pinches
Agave Syrup- 3 tablespoons
Water- 6 to 8 cups

First bring your 6 to 8 cups of water and the 2 fat pinches of sea salt to a boil, vary the amount water to change the thickness or flavor. Remove the water mix from the heat, stir all ingredients, set pot on a cooling rack until the mixture is room temperature.  Pour room temperature mix into a blender, and either pulse or put on slowest setting, and lightly blend.

 You will have the urge to blend it in the blender say 1/2 way cooled, or 3/4 cooled. Well, if your mix is anywhere near the top of the blender, then steam will build in the blender very rapidly, and spit hot shit all over you, burning you, and make a mess in the kitchen. And, if you a really smart kid, like me, then you'll try in twenty minutes when it's still not cool enough, and reburn and mess your shit up again.

Pour into jars or  a pitcher. I save some jars so can split it up for different workouts.

It is earhty yet sweet spice drink. It the only thing I did different between the two runs. I drank four ounces after four miles, 8 ounces after mile 8, finishing the last 4 ounces after mile 12, and wishing I had more, because I famished at that point. A.D.D. Idea. A squeeze of lime might be nice. I think I am going to try some lime. I hope you enjoy. 

The Sore Leg Bathroom Waddle

After the Kilauea Iki 8 mile run, on VD day Feb. 14th 2011, it seemed as if I was OK. I hurt, but for the first time at this distance, my feet seemed worse than my legs. I had more than one sore toe. Not from the  shoes as much as it was the sheer number of steps on uneven terrain.

 Upon finishing my first loop, I stopped to call the girls, and I saw that it was noon, the first loop took over 1-1/2 hours, and I had to meet My wife at 1:00 so she can pass the baby off to me, switch the Prius for the Jeep, and get down the hill to Hilo and get to work at 2:15 PM.

I knew if I was going to make 8 miles I was going to have to haul ass on fatigued legs. I scrambled back out onto the trail. I reversed directions, and descended by Thurston Lava Tube. I flew like a lion through the first steep descent, but I started to fatigue going through the bottom of the crater. The initial ascent is a super steep trail slash rock stairs. As I ran peering up at the ascent, I jammed the ball of my right foot on a lava rock, straining the  muscle, and almost rolling my ankle. I started to try to run the ascent, and immediately fell back into a walk. I walked quickly until I got into the shade. I stopped removed my hydro pack and Micheal Jordan sweat band to allow my body temperature drop. Once my body temp lowered; I consume a couple of small mouth fulls of water not wanting to over do it. I continued. Getting up those steps is like doing lunges, my quads were shaking like jello, but I pushed through, made it to the top, and then was able to start a slow sliding jog. I knew I was running out of time, and had to get to the parking lot. The rest of the is ascent is very gradual, and I was able to run/walk it at a pace faster than my body wanted. I made it to the parking lot just before to girls arrived. I finished the trail 8 miles in 2-1/2 hours. My feet were really stinging, my legs were numb and had an occasional shooting pain, but I thought they just might be OK.

Wrong! I woke up needing to take a leak, and my legs were stiff as boards, and when I put my feet to the floor someone shoved a hot nail in my calves. Whimpering I teetered side to side like I had two wooden legs, and electric shocks ran up to my ass. My legs were like this for the next three nights. I skipped my short runs, and my paddle boarding.

Thursday morning I drizzled out of bed at 6 AM, and hobbled down the hall to draw a hot epsom salt bath. I soaked, and then got up to make coffee and make a breakfast burrito. Then I rubbed my legs down hard with the red Tiger Balm. Please, heal me firery balm! The girls got up, and the Girls and I went to Hilo Bay. There were small waves. I was still in tons of calf pain. I paddle over in the waves. I couldn't take off on a damn wave. I would get all wobbly the moment before dropping in, I would try to contain the fire in my legs, and splash I would kook out and Huli (fall) off my board. My friend Big L. and I swapped boards in the water. His board is a little wider and more stable. And, He is actually a good surfer and can ride my board. I still couldn't catch waves, until I started kneeling and paddling for the waves. I never could get enough blood into the muscles to wash, even if temporary, away the soreness. We swapped boards back. Big L. caught the next wave in to shore. I tried a couple of times, and resigned to paddle across the bay, and over to where the girls were playing on the beach.

Friday, I did stations, I jumped rope, did push ups, sit-ups, pull ups, and ran in place. My calves were still super sore, and I wanted to try for 16 miles the next day. I talked to my wife, who is sometimes very wise, Hey, I said, "Sometimes", suggested I push the run to Sunday. I agreed, in fact I was a little scared of even doing Sunday's run...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Chubby Cheeta's Kitchen Recipes, # 1, Quinoa and Pumpkin Lunch

I made two separate dishes. A savory & sweet quinoa, and a baked pumpkin.

Sweet & Savory Quinoa


3 small or 2 medium size tomatoes
1/4 cup bell pepper
1 whole mango
dash celery salt
pinch sea salt
3/4 cup quinoa
1-3/4 cup water

Bring water, sea salt, and celery salt to a boil. Slowly stir in quinoa, cover with a lid and put on low heat for 12 minutes. While quinoa is simmering, chop tomato into chunks, bell pepper into fine slices, and the mango into chunks. When the 12 minute simmer is up stir in vegetables and mango, cover, and turn heat off. It will be slightly warm when pumpkin is done.

Baked pumpkin-


1 pumpkin cut in half, you may use smaller pieces if it is a larger type of pumpkin
Black pepper
Olive Oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut pumpkin in half, and put deep cuts in the pumpkin almost all the way to the skin. Rub the pumpkin with olive oil, and then sprinkle evenly with black pepper, and lightly with the sage. bake on a cookie sheet for 1 hour.

Enjoy this meal full of fiber, protein, minerals, vitamins, and good carbs.

Chubby Cheetah Kitchen Invitation

As part of this whole twisted experiment I am going to compose a Vegetarian cookbook. I am pretty handy around the kitchen, and to keep my self from splitting at the seams from meat withdrawals I have got inventive in the kitchen. Plus the level of nutrition and calories ha have to be present to pull off long distance runs. I also found with a lot recipes with health food are only trying to sell you there cookbook, and a lot of them are like 15 chia recipes. I am not going to pay 15.00 for a ten or fifteen recipe cook book. Kiss my white flabby ass! Anyways, any post that says Chubby Cheetah's Kitchen from now on will be a recipe for vegetarian food.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Baby's Fever

I missed my short run yesterday, and my paddle boarding session today. My Baby had a high fever 102.3, and maybe higher. Nothing is scarier than having a sick child, and yet nothing cause deep bonding like staying just out of the dream realm and cuddling your baby all night.  My wife and I barely got any sleep, because our baby would wake up up in a screaming cry at least every twenty-five minutes, and she would either need to be nursed back to sleep by my wife or I would rock her and sang. It funny how alot of times what ever is causing you to lose sleep pisses you off, but not when it's your baby you are more than happy to lose that same sleep.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Volcano National Park

View from Kilauea Iki, and Halema'mau'u is steaming in the back ground. I ran a super hard eight miles yesterday. I did the Kilauea Iki Loop twice. After the first loop, I paused in the parking lot, and this huge plume of ash and smoke came billowing out of Halema'mau'u, which is the home of Pele. I got great footage of it, and peoples  reaction on my other video camera. There is a lava lake in that crater, and when I first moved here I remember someone telling me it was a mile or two down. Now, I read in the paper last Thursday that the lake of lave is 240 feet down, and there were over a dozen earthquakes last week, the biggest being 3.8.  So when these plumes came, which happened twice I was wondering if I should run down into the bottom of the crater again. But, what the hell! If Tutu Pele wants to take you, she can do it at will. So, I finished one more loop. I had to stop my run four miles short; I wanted to do at least one more loop, but my feet were killing me. Also, when I jumped over a crevice I came down super hard on a sharp piece of lava rock in the arch of my right foot. My foot still hurts pretty bad today. Well worth all the pain to see Big Mama's show of force.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Grocery Freak Out!

My baby girl and I were both going through the cabinets. She was tossing things on the floor, and I was searching for something to fill the tobacco void. I couldn't find anything to satisfy my needs, and we decided to run to the health food store before Mama got home from work. You know, just to grab a few things for a vegetarian curry. So, we go to the store, next thing you know we are wandering the store sharing an open unpaid for bag of cheese poofs, and finding all sorts of wonderful delicious things. $ 85.00  later I still didn't have everything I needed for the curry, and I only had one bag of groceries. Damn heath food stores. Hmm, I will go to the Kea'au farmers market, a great place to get cheap fresh vegetables. Shit! I gave my last eleven dollars to my wife, and they only accept cash at the farmers market. I can just run by KTA, it is more expensive, but they have very nice produce. I'll just grab a couple of veggies, maybe a cheese pizza for tomorrow. Right! As my cravings grew deeper and deeper my cart got fuller and fuller. To add to the drama we are having a bit of a tight month. I spent $ 160.00 at KTA. I now have spent $ 240.00 on groceries. When I got home my wife almost flipped out, but she is so cool that she swallowed her anger, and we had a long talk. I had one other freak out, but I am saving that one for my video chronicle. I am heading up to Volcano National Park for a long run today, and will report back soon.

Fat Rash

I haven't reported since my last big run. . My big run last weekend went OK. It took me about 2-1/2 hours to run 9 miles. I went from my house almost to Hilo. I had to call my wife at the 7 mile mark and tell her to start heading my way cause my fat-ass thighs had rubbed against each other and my boxers quite a few too many time, and I was rashing out hard. My last two miles looked like I was running from Ron Jeremy, as I waddle forward in fat rash pain. My sweet wife and baby brought me fresh clothes, and stuff to shower down at the beach. I cleaned up at the shower in Hilo Bay, and went to a Super Bowl party. I made the second half of the game. Well, kind of, I don't really watch sports, but I got drunk. I took a couple of short runs this week, a great paddle boarding session, and a great body boarding session. I had a couple of good freak outs I will expound upon in my next blog.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Stand Up Paddle Boarding

Last night after Mama got home from work, I finished gardening, and the dogs and I went for a super quick run by the ocean. I got up then this morning at 5:30 am, drank enough java to hold one eye open, kissed both of my sleeping girls, and head for Hilo's Bay front. The computer showed that there were supposed to be some good waves. Nothing, nada, zilch. I paddled two huge laps around the bay. Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa were both dress in a sheer white mist, laying silent like powerful beautiful women. When I would turn to padlle to the south The sun was streaking almost all the way to the front of my paddle board. What a way to wake up!

Kilauea Iki trail

This is the post a'a part of the run. A'a is the super sharp lava, and Lapahoehoe is the smooth lava. I would include the a'a portion of the video, but it is too hilarious too give away for free, and I am saving it for the final documentary. Thank Pele for smooth lava!!!

Cleansing My Body & House

 Cleansing my body is no longer enough. I am digging out projects rotting under the house, inside the garage, out of the closets. I was sitting wondering how the F$%^ I was going to finish all these crazy projects I had accumulated, and I realized if I donate the  good stuff to the recycle center, and throw the rubbish away my list will become shorter and shorter.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Craving Chew & Hot Dog Water

The no meat thing has not been too bad until today. I was craving chewing tobacco so hard this morning I thought my skin was going to split. I had drank enough coffee to make an elephant run wind sprints, and was considering going to WalMart parking lot and start head-butting cars until I had knocked myself out. Instead I spent some energy fertilizing our Banana Trees. Part of my crazy angst is I missed my run yesterday; I went paddle boarding instead. Then while I was cutting up an organic all beef hot dog for my daughter I accidentally licked my fingers. Whoa! Mmm! Yea! Next thing I know I am hovering above the hot dog water slowly indulging in the steamy smell of hot dog vapor. I think I will go for a run right now to shake these cravings.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Signed up for the Big Island Marathon Kind of...

I actually signed up for the 5K on March 20th because the marathon is full. I need as much exposure to any race I can get. I really wanted to sign up for the marathon. This would be a perfect time to try to run a 26.2 mile marathon. I am hoping I can weasel my way into the full marathon during Saturday the 19th when we pick our race bibs up.

Super Bowl Sunday

50 miles, 50 miles, 50 miles, shit! I haven't been running at all, and I have less than five months to go from overweight, with a diet of red meat, Copenhagen long cut chewing Tabasco, beer and whiskey drinking, and transform myself into a vegetarian super athlete who runs ultra marathons either barefoot, or in a minimalist shoe like the Vibram Five Finger running shoe.

Yesterday, after many cups of coffee, lingering around the house and trying to convince myself to start running again after almost two weeks without acomplishing anything. I had an epiphany, I will shave my head,and create my own gimmick to trick myself into running. I have never shaved my whole head. I have had a couple of killa mohawks. It's time for a cinematic moment. I walk briskly into the bathroom, grab the clippers, into the bedroom to get the camera and the tripod, from the bedroom "babe, can I have your makeup mirror". My wife gives me her makeup mirror, and reminds she would prefer if I didn't shave my head. I am bald like a ballon baby. I thought it would make me look younger, WRONG! My fairly tanned face looking rather akward as it tries to merge with my ass white bald head.

Once I washed off all the superfluous hair clippings, pulled on my boxers, running shorts, Vibram shoes, hydro PAC, iPod shuffle, turned on a Willie Nelson tune, kissed the baby, and started jogging up the driveway. I was going to jog inside of H.P.P. Subdivision, I went from 24th up to 28th, took a right on 28th, made it a quarter of the way up the street, and I was stopped by a pair of dogs who were off leash, and coming at me. They had a steady bark, but did't seem viscious, although they kept advancing on me, and one of them was a burly blue pit bull. So i wasn't going to chance a fight with that big bastard. I started walking backwards, they kept coming, I shouted at them, they kept coming, finally I picked up a rather large rock and chucked it at them, and they seemed to understand. they stopped, looked at each other, and turn around and went home. I decided to go back to the main road, and run a little ways down highway 130. I took little baby steps, if I wanted to increase my speed I increased the number of steps not the length of my stride, I was feeling great. I passed Shower Drive, the dump, next thing I know, six miles into my run I am turning down highway 11, my knees are screaming, but I want to keep going, and I do. After another mile the fat on the upper inside of my thighs stinging from the mix of the sweat and the rash where my fat thighs had been rubbing my boxers together between my thighs until it felt like they were going to burst into flames. I stopped, called my wife on my cell phone. I told her to come get me, but I was going to keep jogging. I struggled to keep moving forward, my rash increasing with every step, trying to shift my boxers, trying to pull them out, trying to roll them up, but nothing worked. My wife got my at the Kulani turn off. I made it a little over nine miles. she drove me to the beach where I showered. Then to the store to buy a twelve pack of beer, and I made it to the party in time for the start of the second half. My knees finally stop screaminG after beer five or six. Then I started feeling great, began boozing, and playing, kubb and frisbee cricket.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Planning is all I've done...


        Why? I'm not sure!
Really? Yes, really!
        Why? "I said, I don't know"!

    Yes, I am fat and flabby, if I run my hand down my belly, there is a point I lose sight of it. I am weighing in around 204.
     Over Christmas vaction I read a book called, "Born to Run", by Christopher Mcdougle. I realized, from these amazing stories, that yes, I was born to run. I have been wanting to chronicle something for a while now, and this was it. "Ding, Dong the Wicked Witch is dead". If I was to exploit myself, I wouldn't have to run around getting release forms signed. Plus, I could shed these shackles of fatigue and compulsion by creating a new compulsion. How American of me! I decided when I came home from Christmas Vacation I would Stop eating meat. I happen to be a hardcore addicted Carnivore, LUV me some meat. BBQ BABY.  After 24 years of companionship, spending almost all day together, on the evening of February 8th, I dipped my finger into the moistness of my bottom lip, and scooped out a  throughly used last chew of tabacco. Oh, sweet friend I could carry anywhere I went. I am missing you. Plus I am training to run several ultra-marathons. First the Big Horn Trail Race 50 miler. Then on August 20th I watn to run the Leadville 50 miler. Do some other regular marathons, and finsh with the H.U.R.T. 100 on O'ahu, Hawaii in December.

More on my struggle tomorrow.